some emails

Sent: Mon 4/16/2007 9:22 AM
To: sandrinha; nely; sílvia
Subject: minhas amigas brasileiras
Oi! Tudo bom? Eu sei foi tempo tão longe desde eu falei con voces, e desculpame. Estou muito ocupada aqui nos Estados Unidos, mas não esqueci de voces. Espero que voce esteja bem. Como vai? E Desculpe eu não mando isso email a as otras pessoas -- não posso encontrar as emails do Angelica ou Beatriz ou otras.
Com este mensagem es um som de Jean Grae -- eu não sei si voce conhece ela, mas ela e legal. ela e rapper de brooklyn e canta rap con o grupo Little Brother e Justus League. Não tenho tradução das letras, mas ela e legal. tem um myspace: www.myspace.com/jeangrae e sua website e: www.jean-grae.com .
Vou a tentar mandar mais musica das otras um dia.
Beijos,
Janelle


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Sent: Tue 11/21/2006 8:39 AM
To: family list
Subject: amor e paz de janelle
Dear Family,

It’s been a while, I know. Apologies for the long absence of news. Thank you for your replies to my earlier email; I’m sorry I haven’t been able to send more personal responses. I’m glad that I can share this little bit with you. I hope you all are doing well. I am currently writing to you from Salvador, which is also in the northeast of Brazil. Salvador is 85% Black, making it one of the Blackest cities outside of Africa. I have been in Salvador for about 3 weeks and will be here for another 2 or so. This time spent here is for my independent study project. I am staying in an apartment with 4 other American students from my program, with a great view of the beach.

My independent study project is about women who participate in hip hop movements here. Here, there are several hip hop cultural movements that are striving to educate and encourage poor, urban, black youth about Afro-Brazilian history and culture and keep kids off the streets and out of crime and off of drugs. They put on hip hop shows, as well as workshops that teach kids how to rap, DJ, breakdance, or graffiti and educate them. So far it’s been a pretty cool experience. The people I’ve met are beautiful and strong.

Black women here are more visible than in Fortaleza. There’s a greater variety of natural styles of hair and education levels and jobs and colors and on and on. You could be or do so much more of almost anything here (not to say that women are doing everything here in large numbers; the traditional isms are still cutting us down and leaving us out, but there is a sense of strength and presence here in certain pockets that I haven’t experienced in Fortaleza and have experienced to a very small extent in the US). Apparently, Salvador and the town Cachoeira (which we visited and is kind of like a more colonial, smaller scale Salvador, sort of. That’s not really a fair description, but I can’t think of a better one right now.) have received a lot of “Roots” tourism from Black folk in the US who come to learn about the Diaspora. Beautiful. That tourism, in turn, helped bolster rights for black people here, because black Americans wanted to see black Brazilians working and living around them, so hotel and restaurant and tour-leading people had to stop being racist and hire some black folk. It’s really beautiful to be here and affirm blackness, seeing people around me in this country with a similar racial history and know that we’re connected and capable and strong. Diasporas are beautiful, and we need to start uniting or affirming our connections over history.

I’d encourage everybody to come here and learn about the various movements here, as well as the religion of Candomblé, the practice of Capoeira, and so many other things that are going on here. Candomblé is an Afro-Brazilian based religion that was persecuted for a long time. It is rooted in Yoruba traditions and when the Portuguese tried to convert the slaves, they used Catholicism as a parallel for Candomblé. Capoeira is a form of dance that had been a form of fighting among the slaves, as it was brought over from countries like Angola. There’s so much more that could be said about these practices; I’m not really doing them justice.

A few weeks ago, we went on our “excursion” to Recife, which is further south of Fortaleza in Pernambuco. Recife was really cool; we immediately liked it more than Fortaleza. We met the women’s group Grupo Mulher Maravilha, which was really inspiring. They’re a 31-year old group who work in their community to raise issues of human rights, especially as they pertain to race and gender (but also of class and sexuality). They’ve done a lot, working with the domestic rights laws to make sure they actually work for the women they address, educating people about their rights and systems of oppression, and giving kids political formation whilst teaching them about different professions. Here in Salvador, we’ve met with the group CEAFRO, which deals with black women’s issues, especially in regards to domestic work. They’re a lot like GMM, only blacker and a little more militant. Also, the education runs differently – the women of CEAFRO are professors and stuff, while that was less likely in GMM. Also, Candomblé has a presence within this group as well, as well as stuff that deals with religious persecution (hence, Candomblé). My advisor for my ISP is a professor that works with CEAFRO, and she knows her stuff.

I’ve been having a good time here with my roommates. I saw the National Cuban ballet here in Salvador two weekends ago – it was really amazing. We go to the beach fairly often. We go out to eat and see hip hop and Capoeira shows every once and a while. We’ve made a few Brazilian and other North American friends. I haven’t gone out too much – honest! – but I’m trying to make the most of what little time I have left.

The food is good here – almost every day I buy acarajé from a vender on the street. Acarajé is like a big hush puppy ball, cut in half, with several different sauces on it. You get a yellow paste (I don’t know what it’s made of), a sauce made with okra, some tomatoes and cucumbers, and optional hot pepper and shrimp. When you get it hot, it’s soooo good. Plus, it only costs about 1-4 R$ (and the Brazilian Real is worth half of a US dollar). There’s also a lot of fried fish and roasted beef. They have fried chicken, but it ain’t like I know and love it. I also dearly miss Mexican food. In Fortaleza, we ate a lot of beans, rice, and pasta, but less so here (I guess because we cook for ourselves or eat out more instead of eating our host families’ food).

So, family, know that things are good with me. I am so blessed to be here, especially as a privileged student (there are a lot of problems here in Brazil, especially with poverty, drugs, and prostitution). I feel so lucky everyday. I am thinking of you and wish I could share more of this beautiful country with you.

I’ll be back in the US around December 20th.

Love,

Janelle



Ps. Attached is a few pictures. The first, as I mentioned, is of the view from my 10th floor apartment in Salvador. There is also one of some of my host family in Fortaleza They were really beautiful and we got along great. The last picture is of a friend and I jumping the sand dunes in Fortaleza – very gritty fun, one of my favorite things we did in Fortaleza. Fortaleza was nice – pretty beaches and I stayed in a great neighborhood, but we were so busy with Portuguese and Culture, Development and Social Justice classes we didn’t do much. Plus, there’s been a lot more to see and do in Salvador, which is more of a culturally vibrant city than Fortaleza, which is basically a touristy beach city.

deixe-me dizer-lhe

so i'm back in the EUA. fun. or, weird is more like it. or normal way too fast. something like that.

my last days in brazil:
after i frantically interviewed sílvia for my isp and scrambled to get my stuff back from angélica, i had one last night in pelo with chill people in salvador. then, we were back in fortaleza, writingwritingwriting until the isp was due. writing and not much else.
the last week after the isp was turned in was spent in this retreat location 2 hours outside fortaleza. expect pictures... eventually. this place was idyllic. standing on the beach and looking left or right, it appeared as if i was in some ad for club med or chique chique travel shit. just sand and shore and our little brick retreat buildings. spoiled. we went through several days of presentations of isps and discussion. people did some incredible projects. or their projects where okay, whatever, but the organizations or people they met were incredible.
one girl spent time with this org banco palmas which works with "at risk" communities to reduce poverty by creating a system of economy that is affordable and accessible by all members of the community, despite the disparate realities.
other people worked with dance groups, sex worker orgs, domestic worker orgs, studied migrant communities, and on and on. i learned a lot, to say so little.
and then it was over. we shook the sand out our sheets and said goodbye to our host families and spent hours in the fortaleza airport.
and then we were gone.

i've seen so many brasils now, seen some really hard-working organizations, and had some great experiences handed to me on a platter, mais ou menos. i'm home and empty. do i have any regrets? i try not to count those. but, i gotta go back. don't know when or how or why, but one day.
(i think it'd be fun to go with a dance troupe or something. not that that's really feasible for me.)

so much things to say, so much things i saw in me and the world. don't know where i am sometimes. hope you're well.
lovelovelove

liberdade!

soooo, guess who just finished her 31-pages-with-acknowledgements indie study project?
i'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count.

ahoy, lovies! estou em fortaleza de novo, com sua como sempre, mas terminada ao fim!

the last days before the Last Day of salvador were stressful and wasteful, until the Last Day, which was like a best of. i finally got my stuff back from angélica that she had had for 10 days, saw her cool friends again (não fica). gazed at the beautiful av. oceanica which gets a hat over the e or the a, can't remember. got *something* (tune in next semester!), took care of some business, bought the book i wanted to buy, chilled with chill people in pelourinho, a little dancey, a little drinky, and tchau. the next morning we were gone. it was a good send off, we will be com saudade de salvador, but we needed to get back. did you know? i'll be home in one short week.

it was nice to see the host fam again, but little time to enjoy it given my ISP field journal and write up had to happen in a weekend. if this semester ends the same way the last few previous semesters have with major stress and despair and then bowing out with a sweet grade, i have bested myself. if not, well, it was time for it, anyway.

anyway, you probably want to hear about my project some more or being back in fortaleza or i don't know what. but the thing is, i don't know what. i've been terribly terribly spoiled. study abroad is pretty much a joke in terms of hardhitting realities that will change the world as i know it. what else is new?

we're about to shove off for the wrapping-shit-up excursion on a beach that i won't be able to fully enjoy. got another eeensy weensy paper to do, but it's not biggie after the baby behemoth. i wish i was clever.

just know that i'm doing well, spoiled as ever, miss you tons, and am super psyched for next semester (although i'll probably be begging to graduate with this years seniors by the end of january).
amor e paz.

oh and pinochet died? hm.

next semester

okay, because i said i would (and who doesn't need another excuse to procrastinate?)
my schedule next sem:

BLCK144A BK 01 Jackson,PJ PO LE 201 -R-- 1:15p 4:00p Black Women Feminisims Soc Chnge
MS 071 PZ 01 Lawless,J PZ BD PERF-M-W 1:15p 2:30p Video Art
ARHI184 PO 01 Pohl,FK PO LE 217 -M-W 11:00a 12:15p Modernism,Antimodernism, Postmod
-OR-
ARHI186K SC 01 Koss, J SC ST 101 -W--- 2:45p 5:30p Seminar in Modern Art

I'm currently pre-registered for both. I'm going to drop one of those two (depending one whichever one i like more) and get permission for
MS 082 PZ 01 Juhasz, A PZ SC 230 --T-- 1:15p 4:00p Intro to Video Production

and if i can't get that, than the T-R 9-11:50 section of Digital Art 1 with Mark Allen. and i'm thinking of taking a 5th class, probably dealing with dance or art, and then some PE course or something.

i also want a paying PCIP, a QRC or art dept job, progress with WSC, social butterfly skills, and a pony. ambitious, no?

now, it's do or die time. so, i'm off to go do.

novembro

this month is getting kind of better, kind of interesting, kind of... morally ambiguous. stories to tell when i get back?
ugh, but when things aren't interesting, i'm totally sluggish. this is a completely spoiled and obvious statement, but these last 3 weeks would be so much more to me if i didn't have all this work to do. field journal and semester paper = yuck. among other things...

however, despite the yuck, last night had some really beautiful moments. i had made a bunch of new brazilian friends and we were talking and walking down the street in the rain. i was in awe of my first post-thanksgiving xmas lights, and everything felt so bright and alive. i held on to that for as long as i could. there is so much more to say and not say, but really, that moment was it.

i hope i get all the classes i want (will post once i'm pre-registered). for that and many other reasons, i am incredibly excited for 2007.
i miss you.

EDIT: moral ambuiguities have fled. i think of what happened as a test of my integrity. i passed, and hope (but don't expect) for an oppurtunity for some fica fica as a reward. we'll see. this is probably a story better told in person, methinks. it's getting less juicy as i type. anyways, love.

say it loud (i'm black and i'm proud)

let's just say that god bless black consciousness day. there are a lot of despites i could say (incluiding "despite the fact that i have yet to get any in this hipersexualizado pais..."), but i made the right choice to do my study abroad in brasil. i missandloveyouallmuchly. that is all.

okay, so even if i fall extremely short of the required 120 hours and just fail my trabalho and thus several credits for this semester, you are still jealous of my isp. i get to hang out with cool, beautiful people and attend hot hiphop shows and see other parts of town that are not along avenida sete de setembro. it may meen getting on and then falling asleep on the wrong bus multiple times, but whatever. it's making all the other times where i'm completely sluggish and difficult worth it (i hope). the only problem (aside from possibly not being able to fufill the whole isp reqs thing) is that i'm kind of pretending to be a bigger hiphop head in the us than i am. i really do like and appreciate and respect and value hiphop, just maybe not as innately as the people i'm working with do. que pena for me. what a shame.

anyways, today is black consciousness day, which i can not spell in neither english nor portuguese at the moment. yayyyy. now if only i could get my shit together. the november of "unbearable suffering" drags on. why, oh why, does mercury have to be in retrograde?